Rob McQueary Following Jesus, Sharing Life

Community: The Deep End of the Pool

the pool

Often in conversations about following Jesus I hear Christians say things like, “I just want a deeper experience.” They are so right to want that. I believe that in most cases the “deeper” that people want is not the “deeper” that Jesus wants. What I have observed is that when people say “deeper” in the Christian context what they often mean (whether intentionally or not) is more Scripture or more liturgy or more meat or more of something that they feel is spiritually missing for them. And while the latter may be a decent motivation for wanting more of something, I don’t think it is the “deeper” that Jesus calls us to.

I selected the image atop this post with much thought and at great risk. I realize that the analogy I am about to make will be a difficult one to swallow for some. Usually when I write about hard truths I ask people not to take things personally, but today I hope that you will. I hope that you will examine your own walk with Jesus. Ask yourself some hard questions. Start with this one… am I stuck in the shallow end?

Defining the Shallow End
Before I offer a definition of the shallow end, please understand that I am not name-calling those who find themselves there. Plain-speak… I am not saying that those individuals are shallow (automatically). I lived in the shallow end for much of my Christian life. I thought that as long as I was learning the ways of Jesus and occasionally asking someone to come to church with me I was doing all the things necessary to follow Jesus. So what am I talking about? The shallow end is where Christians go to get educated about Jesus. Often it’s the church or some other worship experience or even a Bible study. We go and we go never realizing that really what we are doing is being trained to stay. Maybe the thought has even crossed our mind, “When do I graduate? What am I supposed to do with all of this knowledge about Jesus?” And while there is nothing wrong with inviting someone to church, that is not the answer to either of the previously-asked questions.

Rick Warren begins his best-selling book The Purpose-Driven Life like this, “It’s not about you.” For years I lived in the shallow end. I didn’t know any of my neighbors (not really). I listened only to Christian music and played on Christian sports teams and read Christian books and created for myself a parallel Christian universe – parallel to the one that existed in real life. Now several years into my new understanding of the deep end I am about to describe, I can tell you that I have never loved Jesus more or felt closer to Him than I do as I am swimming in the deep end.

Re-imagining the Deep End
First and foremost, the deep end is not evangelism… at least not the way that most of us practice evangelism… proselytizing. The deep end is the reason the shallow end was created. The things you and I are blessed with in the church and in worship and when we study the Bible have to matter in real time… or they don’t matter. If the stuff we read about and teach and sing are just facts to be learned, then, no thank you. But they aren’t. Learning and understanding the way of Jesus ought to give us a compulsion to show that way to the ends of the earth. The deep end is why we learn. We should never learn and study and worship solely so that we can feel closer to God. The deep end is the universe… not a parallel one that we create (a Christian sub-culture). It is those of us who have chosen to follow Jesus also choosing to interact with all people, believing that the best stage for what we have learned and begun to understand about Jesus is in community with all of those He has created.

Rob McQueary Following Jesus, Sharing Life

Community: Natural Connections

connected 2This  post is not about forming a small group Bible Study… though that did eventually happen. This is about making natural connections with people. This post is not about a bait and switch… i.e. forming friendships with people only so that you can proselytize them later (probably sooner). This post is about making natural connections with the people that God brings into your life stream… naturally. If you are plastic or wooden, people will know that. If you are connecting with others for any reason other than being their friend, this will be more obvious than you want it to be and will likely cause that person to run as fast as they can in the opposite direction.

So back to what this is about… making natural connections. When I first moved to Atlanta I only knew two people and they both lived almost an hour away from us (my brother and his wife). What I did next is not revolutionary nor is it difficult. I began to live life. First I needed a graphic designer who could help me create a logo. I hired a guy who I felt was a pro who knew his stuff and thought outside the box. Perfect. The next hire for me was a printer who would eventually put my vision accompanied by the other gentlemen’s graphic design into print. I found out later that these two knew each other and had even done work together. For whatever it’s worth, neither of them were churchgoing types.

Our relationships began as business. Within a few months my printer was preparing to be married and asked me to officiate the ceremony. I gladly said yes. At that point I was also able to meet his fiancée… also not a follower of Jesus. My relationship with my graphic designer was also becoming a friendship. Soon we started meeting together in our home once a week and just eating together. That’s all it was. No sermon.  No Bible Study. Just new friends hearing each other’s stories and learning what made each of us tick.

In time (roughly 6-8 weeks) the group of us had now grown to about 10-12. They all knew who I was and had all been asking spiritual questions offline… mostly outside our weekly dinners. So we threw a big Cinco de Mayo party (it happened to fall on the night we always ate together) and I sheepishly suggested that we add a spiritual piece to our weekly dinners. I promised no sermonizing. No lecturing. The collective reply was, “Of course we would love to!” The plan was to tackle one question each week… the questions that different ones of them were already asking. That study lasted another 6-8 weeks or so. By the end they were asking me, “When are we actually going to study from the Bible?”

Following that question, we launched a 21-week study in John’s gospel. And it never stopped until the day we closed Process Church. Next it was Genesis… then Acts and Psalms and Hebrews and Ruth and Romans and Habbakuk and Matthew. This had become our pattern and it was thoroughly a part of the life of the church.

Let me close with some clarification about how this happened. Perhaps it is obvious to you (if you already believe), but I prayed about everything. So, from my vantage point, none of this was coincidence. But these connections also happened through natural means. These people who are now among my closest friends were not even initially sure that I was not just another Christian nut-job trying to force-feed them some religion. Yes, it is a long road that leads some to belief and others not… but we are all still friends.

A final challenge. This will not be easy for you if you have grown up in the Church. I’m not even sure that you can/should use my story as a template. But what I am sure of is that 6 years after I moved my family to Atlanta these are the people that God brought into my life. And though we have all moved on from our shared church experience, we are forever the closest of friends. That part I know you can do. The challenge is… will you? Will you leave the comfort of your Christian bubble and explore the natural connections that are already present in your life?

Rob McQueary Sharing Life

Living In Community

Together GroupsMy steadfast belief is this… God created us for togetherness. It certainly begins with what has historically been referred to as the communion of saints (those who believe in and follow Jesus). My further belief is that we were also created to share life with those with whom we may share little more than geography. This is a marked difference. It rejects isolationism and calls for wearing Jesus well on a daily basis. It calls us beyond a Sunday-only version of Christianity to a reality that extends to every corner of daily life.

So here are some questions to get us thinking about what it means to be living in community:

1. If you’ve lived in an apartment, condo-type setup, or HOA… what are the advantages of such?
2. What are any associated disadvantages with that same type of living?
3. In similar fashion, what are some of the advantages to living life in community (religious or not)?
4. Likewise, what are some of the associated challenges to living life in community?
5. By reading Genesis chapters 2-3, what was one of the primary reasons God created people?
6. Sociologically, why do people groups clump (or seem to stay in close proximity to each other)?
7. From what you may already know, how did Jesus model sharing life with his own disciples?
8. Then when the church begins in the book of Acts, what are some of the common things shared in 2:42?
9. How does Acts 2:44-46 describe the extent of their sharing?
10. How might we translate that into our modern context?
11. What was the most miraculous by-product of all of their sharing (2:47)?

For some extra insights follow the link to this commentary… Genesis 2-3 and Acts 2:42-47.

Rob McQueary Sharing Life, Social Action

To Whom Do Our Children Belong?

MSNBC Host Melissa Harris-Perry recently stirred an accidental (or, intentional, depending on your perspective) firestorm. Before I answer this post’s question from my own perspective, these are perhaps the most controversial of Ms. Harris-Perry’s words…

…we’ve always had a private notion of children, your kid is yours and totally your responsibility. We haven’t had a very collective notion of these are our children. So part of it is we have to break through our kind of private idea that kids belong to their parents or kids belong to their families and recognize that kids belong to whole communities.

belongAs I have read literally dozens of articles and comments about her statements, the vitriol seems to be focused on one word… belong. Having shared their vantage point for so long, I believe that I can credibly say that I know from whence the anger and outrage comes. It really is more than this, but I think it starts with a misunderstanding of definition.

The image on the right is a screenshot taken from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Clearly there are varying uses of the verb form of the word “belong”. My opinion is that the gross overreaction of some has come because of a deep belief that Ms. Harris-Perry was using definition 2a, when in fact, I believe she was using 2b.

For many Christians that lean right and would call themselves conservatives (though not the “moral majority” they once were), I believe this fundamental difference of opinion is fleshed out far beyond this case. There is a local church here in metro Atlanta that I will use as an example of what I’m talking about. They are big and, as such, an easy target; but I think they are reflective of a pervasive mindset that detrimentally exists at the core of many who call themselves Christian. I don’t really know exactly how many people call this church home… I would guess several thousand. They own a ginormous piece of land that is set back from a major thoroughfare. They have programs for every imaginable age-group and staff to facilitate such an approach. They are known for their beautiful buildings and landscaping and especially their almost-cinematic sign that is constantly scrolling all the news of the coming days in multi-colored splendor. At the bottom of one of those spectacular pages is a small sign that is easy to miss at 55 miles-an-hour. It simply reads, “public welcome”. These are the 2a (and maybe 2c) Christians.

communityThe 2b definition is not about ownership as much as it is about mutual responsibility. It is about community. You may not have liked Ms. Harris-Perry’s assessment about our individualized culture, but you can hardly (honestly and intelligently) deny it. Especially as Christians we have become masters of isolationism. We have created an entire sub-culture that has everything you need. From music to softball leagues. Dating sites to bookstores. You really need never set foot in a heathen establishment of any type again. But this is not the way of Jesus. He operated in stark contrast to the sanitized lives that we have scoured “clean” and then set up as the truest version of what it means to be Christian. Read Luke 13. These are all stories of Jesus’ interactions with procedures and peoples that were outside the scope of the “established religious thought”. My favorite is in verses 20-21…

He also asked, “What else is the Kingdom of God like? It is like the yeast a woman used in making bread. Even though she put only a little yeast in three measures of flour, it permeated every part of the dough.”

You cannot effectively impact something you refuse to be known as a part of. Think you are already doing this well enough? How many people who are not just like you (especially spiritually) would call you their friend? A better question: what does any of this have to do with the original question… To whom do our children belong?” I will forego the urge to poke theological holes in arguments that they belong (in your 2a understanding) to parents. And I will even avoid the question itself because the answer to these misunderstandings of definition will answer it for you.

Especially as a follower of Jesus, I dare you to search the Scriptures, to hear the heart and observe the practices of Jesus and tell me that he preferred isolation to involvement. It is not possible. To borrow from one of my deceased heroes, Mike Yaconelli, Jesus practiced (and calls us to practice) messy spirituality. Get busy.